In my younger days, I would say that my perception of God was more of a strict judge. I often read the words “God loves all”, “God loves me” but I had the warped notion that God loves me only if I did the right things. Going to confession for me was like a horror story in itself. I have to face God and priest and tell them what a horrible person I was? It made me feel so unworthy, almost as though I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror.
And I think this translates from our human idea of love. We scroll through smiling faces of friendship on facebook, we admire the romantic flowers, rings, candle light dinners and cute babies on Instagram. With every fairy tale comes a once upon a time, some kind of little crisis if any, the getting together and it ends with happily ever after. But really, what is happily ever after? Are we all to pursue a relationship with somebody because we sought after the “Happily Ever After”?
As we learn from today’s session, love goes much further beyond that. Indeed it is so easy to love when things are good, when everybody is happy. But love only comes out during the difficult moments. Could you love a boss who doesn’t appreciate your late nights? Could you love a friend who forgot the dinner date with you? Could you love your spouse who pretends not to hear your wailing baby?
Could you love your enemy?
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Being a Christian is to be in a religion of love. God gave us free will precisely because of that. He made us in His image which is intended to be good and He is always waiting for us to make that decision to love God, love our neighbour, love our enemies every single day.
But of course in reality, loving itself is a high call. Even putting aside our enemies, loving our closest family members can be the hardest thing of all. I think one helpful way to pray or to meditate is to reflect on our own lives and remember the times when we are secured and filled with peace because we know that God will love us regardless. I think that truly sums up how love can be. That in this relationship, both parties in their journey of doing their best for one another, at the same time feel safe to be open to one another and to forgive one another unconditionally.
The Decision to Love everyday!
1. Let God do His job, instead of trying to do it for Him
“Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”
2. Don’t keep it all inside, let it out
“Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.”
3. God is always there to help us deal with our anger the right
“No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll
always be there to help you come through it.”
-1 Corinthians 10:13
Glenn and Christina also shared with us some very good insights from the MPC course. This is about the act of forgiving one another. That in building a relationship, it is important to recognize the power of verbalizing your feelings and thoughts to one another. In reconciliation, we have to be vulnerable to one another.
Perhaps a lot of couples take for granted that the other SO should understand that they love each other and will forgive each other. However, it is so crucial to voice it out because we are human and we need those tangible moments with one another. Hence, it is always recommended to properly voice out the hurts, the feelings and for the other party to seek for forgiveness. Of course then the last step is to voice out “I forgive you” and truly mean it.
Ten “Rules” for Communicating
- Use “I” statements and talk about your feelings
- Stick to the matter at hand
- Fight fairly
- Use accurate feedback, and work on problems together
- Keep your temper in check
- Avoid criticising or name-calling
- Respect each other’s statements
- Hold each other
- Close the argument by the end of the day
- Change when change is needed
I leave you with this quote which I really liked very much from the session 🙂 Go in peace and to love!
“If we’re simply looking for love, period, that won’t be enough. You’ll be looking for love in all the wrong places. What we should be looking for is God’s will, God’s purpose. And then find somebody who is as in love with that purpose as you are. Now you found somebody to love.”